Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you help them to become what they are capable of being. – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Today I had a conversation with E. She feels neglected or rather she feels that priority is given to the other children. She’s right. I’m not supposed to say this but I have never really clicked with my daughter. She is too far from my character and I find it difficult to handle her temper but I also don’t have the same interests. I think that the things that bother me the most are her lack of grit, she gives up constantly, sometimes without even trying. She also has a tendency to interrupt continuously when we are talking to someone else. Therefore I have avoided her, not conscientiously like you would with a co-worker that you don’t like and you run when you see them coming, but not far from it. I have never really made the effort to bond with her, or rather I have but it drains me so much that I’m not able to do anything else that day or potentially week. Sounds horrible, and it is. I have never really thought about this before but going on this journey and doing a lot more of self-reflection, reflection on what kind of person I would like to be but also what kind of people I would like /need to be around. I have now added people that I’m literally building up, which is what a parents job is in regards to the children. I’m now determined to spend more time with her, take her side, teach her grit (god know she will need it in this world) and make her grow. This is not just a selfless mission that I have started, this is also a mission for myself, you can not ask others to improve/change if you are not willing to change with them. I need to be a better mother to her and I need to work on that. That is a task that I will not fail in, the consequences are too damaging for us both.